The Daddy Issue: A Real-Life 50 Shades

Siouxsie Q.
3 min readFeb 12, 2022

by Siouxsie Q March 12, 2014

“I want to believe that we are all a little more heroic than we are flawed, that the honorable role of ‘Daddy’ does exist. … Some people have prayer; they believe in God or a higher power. I believe in Daddy.” — Madison Young

One easy way to dismiss a woman’s experience is to say she has “daddy issues.” If that woman is in the sex industry or is sexually promiscuous, then she is assumed to be “looking for daddy.” Madison Young takes that cliché head-on and bravely deconstructs it in her new memoir, Daddy.

Young is a Bay Area-based porn star, director, and sex educator. We’ve worked together on and off over the years, and I’ve always been impressed by her hard work on both sides of the camera. Like me, she entered the sex industry for many reasons, but one of them was to fund her queer feminist art gallery, Femina Potens: a noble venture that she lovingly called “Anal for Art.”

“Four anal scenes paid the gallery rent, another four paid the deposit,” she writes. (Please note: These figures no longer apply in San Francisco. This was pre-Google Bus.)

The first film I did with Madison Young was a lesbian porn parody of 50 Shades of Grey in November 2012. I was an extra in the final scene in which the leading character is presented as a plaything to a group of masked women in lingerie. It was silly and meant to poke fun at the international bestseller that captivated the attention of mainstream readers, inspiring millions of suburban housewives to explore their kinky desires. The author of the 50 Shades series, E.L. James, is a middle-aged British woman who admits that the series is a manifestation of her midlife crisis. The book is problematic, but it certainly sparked a conversation about BDSM in mainstream media that had previously gone ignored. Can a woman identify as a submissive sex slave and still be empowered?

Young raises similar questions in her memoir, but unlike James, she has the real-life experience to inform the answers. Daddy is what 50 Shades of Grey could never be: an honest and brave story of a real-life BDSM relationship.

Some think of Young as porn royalty here in the Bay Area. She began her career at Kink.com long before it inhabited the looming castle that is the San Francisco Armory. In the book, Young recounts her journey as a small-town girl from Ohio on a quest for a chosen family in the Oz-like city of San Francisco. She…

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Siouxsie Q.

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